I’ve just felt a need to get this out there. I’m an overthinker and a lot of people don’t know it. I can have a pleasant conversation, but later, I’ll sift through everything that was said and start to think the worst. This is one of the HUGE reasons I hate it when people lie to me, but that’s another post all on its own.
In relationships, overthinking has proved to be seriously problematic. I’ll apologize for things that likely never happened and ask questions like “are we friends?” to help myself feel secure. If you’re reading this right now and believe that we ARE friends, I promise you we are, but I also promise that I have doubted it at some point. It doesn’t matter what’s happened or what you’ve done, its really just me thinking too much.
Along with overthinking comes worrying and heartache. Obviously, if I overthink to the point of doubting a friendship Ill start to worry that my doubts are true and then feel sad about that possibility. This is all very dramatic. There have been a lot of instances lately where I believe that I have no friends. None at all. Of course, the worrying sets in and I have believed this lie many, many times. It really hurts when I know that God has blessed me with many friendships, but yet I still doubt that he has given me any at all.
The only way I know how to explain this is by using the roller coaster example. Sometimes I feel way up high and perfectly awesome about how many amazing friends I have, but other times, when I hit the low spot, I spend a lot of quiet hours wondering if anyone will care when I move away.
Through this, however, I have learned a valuable lesson. Through all of the low spots or broken friendships I’ve been through, there has always, always been one, very special friend of mine who has never left my side. Through all of my troubles and difficulties, God has sat right there next to me, helping me, guiding me, and never leaving me. As much as I doubt my earthly relationships, I know that I can count on his. And this friendship is one that will only bring courage and happiness.
Thank you for reading and never forget… In a world full of the same, never forget to Live Different.